Friday, October 9, 2009

THE HAMSTERIAN HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: REDEEMING 1980s NERDS ONE VAMPIRE MULLET AT A TIME

perhaps i'm beginning this a little late here, but late is better than never. besides, it's the perfect day to begin something like this. it's friday. the sky is leaking profusely. the sun is taking an extended lunch break. i had one class this morning and was done by 9. sure, i have loads of work that needs my attention. papers need grading, lessons need planning, jen borden needs clean sheets in the guest room when she gets here tomorrow. but it's friday, and the sky is leaking, and coffee tastes way better when the sky leaks. so i'm taking the day off. if the sun can take the day off, the hamster can too. and, with all this free and glorious time, perched near the window with my coffee, i shall begin this here little project. 

ladies and gentlemen, my fellow hockey maskers, sabbatical sun, today marks the launch of a great hamsterian venture. beginning today, i shall countdown the calender to halloween by reviewing a horror classic each and every weekday until the day of the great pumpkin. and i could not think if any better film to get us started on the road to horror madness than
 



okay, right. you're right. THE LOST BOYS is not exactly what you would call a "horror" film classic, but it's still freaking awesome. and you can't talk about vampire films without talking about THE LOST BOYS. it's solid gold. it's got super-true vampire lore. it's got the corey and corey. it's got a bleach blonde keifer sutherland with a flat top and mullet. i freaking love this movie! one time myles and aaron bell and dave johnston and i all crammed on one little dorm bed (they were small dorms, you couldn't have much furniture) to watch this, and we all thought we were invincible for the rest of the night. shites! i can't believe i'm writing about this and not watching it.

i had to start the hamsterian halloween countdown with THE LOST BOYS because this flick was straight lethal for little boys in the '80s, especially if you were a nerdy little boy. like me. THE LOST BOYS was more to us nerds than a horror-comedy, for us it was a how-to documentary preaching the glories of comic book wisdom and dirt bike coolness. everything late '80s nerd kids loved and knew about life was contained in THE LOST BOYS. you had comic book geeks riding cheap-ass BMX bikes, punk rock vampires wearing trench coats at the carnival, hearts exploding on stakes in beach caves where the vampires sleep upside down with little bat feet, a dude eating maggots, water guns full of holy water, bathtubs full of garlic, little kid vampires shooting up through the fireplace, a house booby trapped with the weapons of vampire lore, keifer sutherland impaled on deer antlers, that creepy children's choir song, that smokin' '80s jami gertz - good people, i ask you: how can one film encapsulate so much amazingsomeness?

this movie rocks. even if you're no longer a late 80s little boy nerd, this movie totally rocks. THE LOST BOYS easily gets 5 buff black saxophonists out of 5. if you haven't seen this movie yet, you've got a lot of closet nerdiness to redeem.

1 comment:

jen said...

Would you say that this movie is better than Twilight?
Haha! I am curious about this flick, especially since it is from the 80s