Friday, February 13, 2009


perhaps it is because the general public now knows that i spend my social life at home glued to the television watching bad films or tied to the internet streaming bad films or tapped in to the tabloids to know what is up with the bad filmsters that i so dearly love like family that i've been asked so many times about joaquin phoenix's "bizarre" appearance on david letterman. 

well, to be quite honest, for all my filmings, i do not watch much television. it is one of my lesser qualities and, trust me, one i am currently working to remedy. therefore, in therapy to alter my televisionlessness, and with all the buzz about joaquin's tripped-out talk-show antics, i had to bolted to the nearest youtube clip i could find. 

so far, in two days time, i've heard from various people that joaquin's behavior on letterman is the result of cocaine, heroin, "hard drugs", insanity, "plum craziness", the pressures of money, the pressures of fame, not successfully leaving behind the johnny cash role, not successfully leaving behind on-stage passion with reese witherspoon, a cry for suicidal intervention, and (my personal favorite) demon possession. (however, a possible physical manifestation of the man-in-black's dark side would be a hella late night sight.) 

so the wife and i watched the tape today. and, based on my Hockey Mask, Inc. professional credentials, here's my final assessment:

joaquin phoenix is freaking brilliant. 

not only is joaquin brilliant, but david letterman is brilliant. these guys play this thing off like the odd couple. like laurel and hardy. like smothers and smothers. like wilbur and mr. ed. these guys obviously love the trash out of one another and played a big joke on america. and it's great. both men give phenomenal comedy performances here. watching closely, we can hear dave totally build up joaquin way more than he would usually build up a guest, only to have joaquin turn around and make a tragically awkward moment out of dave's praise. and they do this repeatedly. the skit ends with joaquin leaping out of his chair, taking off his glasses, and vigorously shaking dave's hand. they pulled it off: the "bizarrest" guest spot on letterman this year. the fans will talk for months to come. 

or, at least, they will talk incessantly at my career spot. 

i give joaquin phoenix's performance on david letterman 5 ABC gumballs out of 5. this is good television, even for a nontelevision viewer. although, honestly, nothing could top crispin glover's first letterman spot.


myleswerntz said...

was crispin glover's hair for real in the clip? Wild.

the hamster said...

yeah, i'm thinking no.