Thursday, January 29, 2009

Self Tracheotomies Are Fun!


The best thing I can say about SAW V is that if you have a deep and abiding hate for Gilmore Girls, then this movie has a happy ending. Also, if you wish that Luke, Han, Leia, and Chewy had been smushed in the trash compactor, then this movie has a happy ending.

Other than that, SAW V has a convoluted plot, filled with unnecessary characters. It's got a timeline that you need an abacus to keep track of. It's got lame traps (which is why we watch the movies in the first place). And neither Donnie Wahlberg nor Shawnee Smith are anywhere to be found. Not even in flashbacks.

I'd love to be able to say that this is the is of movie that made us start this silliness, but it's not nearly that much fun.

In terms of expectation v. reality, it wasn't all that bad. I wasn't hoping for much, and that's exactly what I got. Not much. After doing this movie review thing for awhile, what I've come to learn is that the hardest movies to review are the "eh" movies. It wasn't great. It wasn't terrible. Eh.

That's SAW V. Eh.

2 electric bathtubs out of 5.

1 comment:

the hamster said...

i thought this was terrible - even though i liked the bathtub trap. that was good thinking.

i hated SAW V for 5 reasons:

1) blasphemy. this flick went out of its way to make as many connections to the blood of Christ as possible and then pooey on it. very uncomfortable. not that expect bill gaither trios serenading of a jigsaw kill, but the Christ illusions went a little far.

2) not enough connections to the backstory. SAW IV laid out some great backstory for the viewers. and they did so in a way that was believable within the context of SAW III. however, this one came out of left field and was dumb. didn't pull things together very well. also didn't set things up for a sixth installment in a nail-biting fashion.

3) we're two films into a dead jigsaw killer storyline. the further we get away from a live serial killer, the more convoluted it felt.

4) no shawnee smith. seriously, she's great. totally great. and i need more shawnee smith in my SAW universe.

5) the group demise plot in SAW V felt like the bad trashed ideas for group demise in SAW II, which is my favorite SAW flick. SAW V feels elementary in comparison to the early james wan direction. sheesh! watching these films is like listening to bush records in chronological order: the value just plummets the further along they go.

eminn - eminem's probable offsprings