Wednesday, November 26, 2008


i've been sitting on this review for a week and a half now, trying to think of something overly clever to say about this film. there was the gloating rodential letter review:

dear squirrels,

ha! we made it big in pictures before you did. you've laughed from your tree limbs at us in our cages long enough. we hamsters will rise! we will RISE!

- the human hamster

then there was the haiku review:

nowhere near badassness of

and then i considered a limerick, but it just kept deconstructing itself:

There once was a hamster in a ball,
who used it as bed and bathroom stall
until the day
Bolt came his way
and made Rhino the most freakin' awesome hamster superhero in the entire hamsterian history of Rodentialdom! and all!

but none of this seemed to work. there's just no way to express how cool and fun and hilarious and great BOLT was on the big screen. two out of two stills agree this is the best thing disney has made since TOY STORY (pixar, of course, not included). 

people with kids - grab up the young-uns!

people without kids - grab up somebody!

as a hamster, speaking for all of the hamsterian race, i boldy give the film BOLT five crystal clear stealth balls out of five. it's about time the world gave hamsters their due.


myleswerntz said...

okay, I'm sold. After I find time to see the new James Bond, I'm seeing this.

the hamster said...

i'd take bolt over bond anyday of the week.

Esue said...

I took Ky to this, and outside of Rhino, I thought this cartoon was a bust...neither of us so much as chuckled but a few times (and mostly at Rhino at that). Maybe cartoons just aren't my thing yet. At one point my nephew asked me if it was over yet! I asked if he was bored, and he said "what does bored mean?" That was the best line of the movie.

the hamster said...

saying you went to BOLT and didn't laugh is about as likely as saying you jumped in a river and didn't get covered with catfish stink.

e, not trying to insult your intelligence, but i think you took ky to the wrong movie. maybe you accidentally sat through TWILIGHT again.

BOLT might be my favorite film of 2008. i'm just saying.

Esue said...

I'm telling you hamster, the full theatre was quiet nearly the entire time!

the hamster said...

like i said: wrong theatre.