i finally got around to seeing that movie. ugh! what was i thinking?! not seeing this movie sooner! i mean, really, if i'm going to make it with the heathers i've got to keep up with their reindeer games. even heather douglass told me after heather urban's bridal shower that the movie HEATHERS was really very. and i totally believed her. i mean, why wouldn't i? even though J.D. said that it was as cool as puking on you own shoes at a college party, i still watched it and i still laughed.
i mean, really, what's that kid's damage? seriously, there was a time when i thought i needed to stop the heathers, but now i realize: i've got to stop all the jason dean's murdering our movie going before we've even went! i've got some chaos that could really kill his dinosaur!
sure, i felt bad laughing at some of the parts. who didn't? like when heather drank the drain-o and gasped "CORN-NUTS!" and fell through the glass coffee table, i knew right then and there that this movie was going to be big fun. i mean, it's one thing to want someone out of your life, it's another to serve them a wake-up cup full of liquid drainer!
this film was totally very in so many ways, but then it was way damaged in others. but i'm so afraid to tell heather that i didn't get it, and that it was like so '87, cause she told me that this movie was the big one and that if i blew it, it would be keggers with kids all next year. and i really like heather and all, but, seriously, i've had about enough of her and all her Swatch dog, Diet Coke heads.
wait a minute! maybe heather and heather and heather deserve the likes of jason dean! before those brain tumor for breakfast hounds get any more weak ideas, i'm gonna spread my wings. i'm gonna teach other people to spread there wings and fly. like eagles! and then heather will say to me, you're beautiful! but this time, that girl scout cookie will really mean it!
okay, i'm done here. this film was really great, but i've got to motor if i'm going to unslush their slushies. i've got to think of something big here. something drastic. something as big as moby dick, and fast, before people realize that my teen-angst has a body count.
i give heather's beloved HEATHERS film a ghastly 2.3 gentle chainsaws out of 5. honestly, it's all red ribbons and THE red croquet ball for me from here on out, heather.
love, your best friend, your worst enemy - same difference,